


Where in the World is Johnny Suh?

by FromMyLibrary



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff and Angst, Im sorry I made Johnny go missing, Imma make a real cute markhyuck at the end courtesy of Johnny because i feel like it, Missing Persons, Missing Scene, Missing in Action, Mystery, NCT 127 Ensemble-centric, There's a plot now? what do you mean there's a plot, also im trash for the idea of a secrectly badass winwin, also lucas, cause why not, i love being my own boss, is that just me, its not my fault, johnny is referred to as Youngho a lot so if you get confused brush up on your names man, little bit of whipped doyoung, okay but honestly bball johnny, the man would dominate, what do you mean i was operating off one random idea of basketball Johnny and it escalated, why because i like him thats why
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:41:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 21
Words: 16,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22515673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FromMyLibrary/pseuds/FromMyLibrary
Summary: The NCT 127 ensemble is in high school. Everything is perfect normal and content except one day, Johnny - captain of the basketball team, student council president, and most popular guy around - goes missing. His team and brother are devastated until they learn Taeyong, the reclusive bookworm, might know the missing boy better than any of them. New friends must work against the growing tide of doubt as time passes to solve the mystery that is Johnny's abrupt disappearance. But honestly, where in the world is Johnny Suh?Mark, Lucas, and Haechan are freshmenJungwoo is a SophmoreJaehyun and WinWin are JuniorsDoyoung, Taeyong, Johnny, Yuta, and Taeil are SeniorsAlso, plot twist, Johnny is never lost because he’s always in your heart.
Relationships: Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Nakamoto Yuta, Kim Jungwoo/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Lee Taeyong/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 47
Kudos: 112





	1. Who the Hell is Johnny

It was quiet and still and calm: just how Taeyong liked it. Books and papers were scattered about him in a mess of words that eased his mind in the middle of a hectic day. He was quiet too, and calm. He had always been that way, much preferring the company of his thoughts or what likeminded friends he had found in his time at Soo-Man Academy. It had been a relatively uneventful three and a half years but he was fine with it. Happy even.  
  
“Where is he?”  
  
Taeyong looked up from his book, slowly stopping himself mid-suck on the end of a lollipop sticking out of his mouth. He furrowed his brows and carefully set down the notebook he was holding onto the open textbook which sat on the desk before him.  
  
Taeyong blinked confusedly.  
  
“Where’s who?”  
  
“Johnny. Where’s Johnny?” the boy asked again.  
  
Taeyong thought he recognized him from somewhere: the fluffy brown hair, the usually handsome face, the broad shoulders. And then it hit him. Without the usual dimpled smile gracing the other’s face, Taeyong hadn’t recognized him. Come to think of it, he was very confused. Why was Jung Jaehyun, the vice-captain of the basketball team and junior class representative, staring him down with the deadliest glare in the middle of the goddamn library. And wait…  
  
“Who the hell is Johnny?” he asked.  
  
“Johnny Suh,” Jaehyun sighed in exasperation. “You’re Lee Taeyong, aren’t you?”  
  
“Yes…” he replied hesitantly.  
  
“So…” Jaehyun urged him on.  
  
“What did I do?”  
  
“You’re the last person he talked to.”  
  
“Listen. I don’t know what you’re talking about. You came in here and disrupted my studying and now you’re claiming I know this guy that I obviously don’t and I would really appreciate it if you left please,” Taeyong groaned.  
  
“No you listen,” Jaehyun leaned forward into Taeyong’s space, almost growling. “My best friend is missing and you’re the last person who saw him!”  
  
“I don’t know who Johnny is!” Taeyong yelled back.  
  
The librarian who had been re-shelving books nearby thundered over and immediately shushed them with a withering look.  
  
“Sorry, ma’am,” Jaehyun smiled at the elderly woman.  
  
Once she left, Jaehyun turned back to Taeyong and the latter was disappointed to see the sour expression had returned.  
  
“You taught him guitar while he was out for the quarter? Tall guy, blinding smile, blue cast?”  
  
“Youngho?!” Taeyong blurted.  
  
The librarian turned around again with very wrinkled finger pointing aggressively at the ‘silence is golden’ sign. Taeyong bowed his head sheepishly in understanding.  
  
“Yes, Youngho. Johnny. Whatever,” Jaehyun rambled, waving his arms about. “He’s missing!”  
  
‘Missing?’ Taeyong thought. No that wasn’t right. He had seen the other only yesterday. He remembered Johnny being all excited about getting the cast removed.  
  
“What do you mean he’s missing?”  
  
Jaehyun looked like he was about to explode. After a glance at the librarian and the other students in the library, Jaehyun grabbed Taeyong by the bicep and hauled him out of the room. He all but carried the other boy into the hall where only a few kids were milling about. ‘Right,’ Taeyong thought. ‘Lunch time.’  
  
“He was supposed to come over to my house last night to study. Every Tuesday. We never misses it. I mean sometimes but he always tells me like a week before hand.” Jaehyun was near hyperventilating, wracking his hands through his hair. “And so I called his mom at like 10 but he never came home and they still haven’t heard from him this morning. And…” Jaehyun stopped abruptly, staring at Taeyong.  
  
“I’m the last person that saw him?” he asked quietly, Jaehyun nodding solemnly.  
  
“Dude you found him!” someone yelled excitedly from down the corridor. “Does he know where Johnny is?”  
  
“No, Mark. He doesn’t,” Jaehyun responded.  
  
“Well what do we do now?” Mark pouted, his shoulders sagging at the elder’s words.  
  
Jaehyun sighed again. “I don’t know, man. I really don’t know.”


	2. Do You Really Know Your Friends

“Did he say he was going anywhere? Did he tell you anything odd? Was he acting weird?” Mark threw the questions out so quickly Taeyong barely had time to process them all.  
  
They stood in the middle of the hall, earning a few curious glances from passers by who were intrigued as to why two members of the basketball team were so animatedly talking to someone none of them had never talked to before. They thought Taeyong looked cold and unapproachable. Most assumed his introverted demeanor was a stuck up act. Which of course couldn’t be farther from the truth, but it was high school and some things never changed."  
  
“Listen I have class right now,” Taeyong tried to answer. “Can we-”  
  
“My brother is missing!” Mark yelled interrupting the elder.  
  
“Oh. You’re Minhyung?”  
  
Mark paused, calming down a bit and looking at Taeyong questioningly. Jaehyun was wearing a similar expression on his face. At their silence, Taeyong continued.  
  
“He talked about his little brother, Minhyung, a lot. He was really proud of you,” Taeyong smiled softly. “He said you were really good at everything you ever did.”  
  
“You know, Johnny doesn’t use those with just anybody. It took me 6 years of friendship before he told me his real name,” Jaehyun said.  
  
“Oh…”  
  
“He must really like you, hyung,” Mark added.  
  
Taeyong stood there for a moment awkwardly. “Listen, I am really sorry Youngho is missing, but I have to get to English. I can help you look after; I promise. I’m done for the day after 4th period.”  
  
“Okay,” Jaehyun mumbled. “Yeah okay.”  
  
“But-“ Mark started to protest before Jaehyun snaked his arm around the younger’s shoulders.  
  
“Come on, Mark. I’ll walk you to class. You have Bio with Hyuckie right?”  
  
Once they had walked away, Taeyong let the anxious breath he had been holding out of his chest and walked to English. Doyoung was sitting inside waiting for him.  
  
“What’s wrong with you?” Doyoung immediately asked when Taeyong slipped into the desk beside him.  
  
“I-”  
  
“Guys! Guys!” WinWin came barreling in. “Yuta told me that Johnny is missing!”  
  
“Johnny’s missing?!” A girl to their right yelped in response!  
  
“No way!” Another boy spoke up.  
  
“Youngho. His name is Youngho,” Taeyong mumbled.  
  
“How do you know that?” WinWin asked the other confused. “The only time I ever heard someone call him that was when Mark was drunk at winter formal last year.”  
  
Taeyong shrugged.  
  
“Anyways, he’s missing! Like actually missing. Apparently, his parents talked to the police and everything,” WinWin continued.  
  
Taeyong shifted in his seat.  
  
“Why would I care if the great Johnny Suh is missing?” Doyoung sneered. “I’m not exactly friends with him. I bet he’s a tool anyways.”  
  
Taeyong slammed his hand down on the table loudly causing Doyoung, WinWin, and the boy in front of them to flinch.  
  
“A kid is missing and you want to joke about it!”  
  
“Yongie, I wasn’t- I didn’t mean it like that.”  
  
Taeyong swallowed the lump his throat before meeting both of his friend’s confused eyes. "Someone is missing."  
  
"Everyone is really scared," WinWin added. "It's already been like 20 hours since anyone has seen him. Mark included."  
  
“17," Taeyong spoke up. "Guys, I think I know where Johnny last was.”


	3. Flashback: 3 1/2 weeks ago

When Taeyong met Johnny he had no idea who other was, just a tall suave boy stumbling through the door of the music department at 5 in the afternoon. By this time most of school, teaches and students alike, had gone home to their waiting houses and families and chairs. But not Taeyong, never Taeyong. Like clockwork he sat beneath the open window, amber laden sunlight streaming through and covered him in a blanket of warmth, and practiced his guitar. He sang quietly too sometimes, to the birds outside who sat along the tree branches to listen. It was easy and comfortable and soft. And today was no different, except yeah, it did happen to be a little different. 

“Hey, you’re pretty good,” the charming voice interrupted. 

“Oh, thank you,” Taeyong replied softly, finally looking up. 

He saw a frazzled looking boy, no he looked more like man, standing there with the biggest smile stretching across his face and a pair of crunches tucked under his armpits. 

“I’ve been wanting to learn recently,” the stranger added and Taeyong hummed in response. 

When Taeyong didn’t answer, the new boy continued the conversation himself. “I just haven’t had the time, you know? School and all that?” 

“You’re here now,” Taeyong said suddenly. “Why not learn after school?” 

“I’m not usually free at this time,” he said as if Taeyong should already know why and what was taking up the other’s time. 

“Why not?” 

The tall man-boy looked confused for a moment before it passed and he extended a hand toward Taeyong, all tanned and muscular and inviting, and who was Taeyong not to accept it. 

“Never mind that. Name’s Youngho!” he all but chirped and it surprised Taeyong, the innocent energy of the other, practically radiating off him like the sun beams Taeyong was still sitting in. 

“Taeyong,” he replied, shaking the other’s hands.

Youngho’s grip was firm and delicate at the same time. ‘It matches him,’ Taeyong thought to himself still shaking hand. 

“Oh, um, sorry,” Youngho mumbled rather abashedly after realizing he was still gripping Taeyong’s hand an inappropriate amount of time for a handshake later. 

“That’s alright,” Taeyong smiled. “It’s nice to meet you.” 

“It’s really nice to meet you too,” Youngho smiled again and Taeyong just melted on the spot. 

“So, you wanna learn guitar,” Taeyong mused. “I’ll teach you.” 

Youngho’s smile got impossibly brighter and he raised his eyebrows. “Really? You’d really be wiling to teach me?” 

“Only so I don’t get too lonely,” Taeyong explained, ducking his head down to hide to faint blush dusting his cheeks. 

“Oh, of course,” the other nodded teasingly. “Only so you don’t get too lonely.” 

He pulled out at chair, wrestled his large and injured body down into it beside Taeyong and never quite left. And every school day at 5, like clockwork Youngho would join Taeyong in the music room, sitting under the gentle sun, and it was easy and comfortable and soft. But maybe, there was a tad bit of stomach fluttering thrown in there too.


	4. When Secrets Come to Light

Doyoung and WinWin barreled down the hall after a sprinting Taeyong the second English ended. The three of them flew into the Jaehyun’s classroom in a frenzy of limbs and gasping breathe. Every kid in the class, who had quietly been packing up their books, turned toward the door and the sputtering boys careening inside. Jaehyun noticed Taeyong and immediately ran over to the other, leaving his backpack on his desk half packed. 

“What’s wrong? Did he text you? Do you know where he is?” the other boy stumbled out in a frantic hurry. 

It was only then that Taeyong looked at him, really looked at him, and noticed the red bloodshot eyes and the dark circles. He saw the desperation and the hurt wallowing on Jaehyun’s back and he felt bad for the other, running in like a madman with all the answers. 

“No. No he hasn’t said anything since yesterday. I’m sorry.”

Jaehyun deflated and someone Taeyong recognized from the basketball team, Jungwoo he thinks, came over and put a hand on Jaehyun’s shoulder. 

“It’s gonna be okay, Jae,” the boy said without very much conviction at all. 

“But I did remember something,” Taeyong continued and Jaehyun whipped his head up so fast Taeyong was worried the other would get whiplash. “He said he went to mail a letter to his birth mother. He had been talking about her a lot recently.”

Jaehyun looked at him confused. Jungwoo looked at him confused. WinWin’s brow furrowed. 

“His birth mother?” Jaehyun eventually asked. 

“Yeah, he said they had recently connected and he was looking for a time to arrange a meeting. I don’t know when though.” 

“Taeyong,” Jaehyun slowly replied. “Johnny is not adopted.”

“But he-”

“I would know if my best friend was adopted, don’t you think?” 

“Why would he lie to me?” 

Jaehyun raised his eyebrow. “No offense but why wouldn’t he lie to you?” 

Taeyong pouted at that, holding an arm out to stop an enraged Doyoung from pouncing on the other boy. 

“I mean he didn’t even tell you the name everyone knows him at school by,” Jaehyun continued. “Who’s to say he didn’t lie to you about that too.” 

“Youngho is not a liar,” Taeyong defended. 

“Stop saying that name like you know him!” Jaehyun shouted. 

“Stop yelling at me!” 

Jaehyun sighed and ran his hands over his face, groaning in the process. Jungwoo whispered something Taeyong couldn’t hear in his ear and the other calmed down. 

“Listen, I’m sorry,” Jaehyun offered. “I’m just crazy stressed right now. Let’s go talk to Mark. He’ll know.” 

But once the two of them had found Mark standing outside his biology class, laughing and talking to a caramel haired boy who was so tanned he looked like the sun, the other had immediately gone into defensive mode. 

“Johnny’s not adopted?!” Mark blurted out. 

“Yes,” Taeyong nodded. “He is.” 

“No,” Mark threw back. “He’s not. He's my brother! And why the hell would you know? You’re not even friends with him!” 

Taeyong flinched at the volume of the younger boy’s voice, but held his ground. “I might not be his friend but I’m the only one with a lead right now, so please try to stop yelling at me!” 

Before Mark could respond, the boy Mark had been talking to, slowly came up and back hugged him. Mark quieted down as soon as he felt the arms around his waist. 

“Now look!” Taeyong said firmly. “I’m just as scared for Youngho, I mean Johnny. And I don’t want to offend anyone here,” he looked over to Jaehyun and then back at Mark. “But he is adopted. I can prove it. He showed me the letters every time she wrote and I still have one in backpack.” 

Taeyong riffled in his bag before pulling out a dirtied white envelope soft with wear as it was read probably a hundred times. The letter inside was on equally thinned pieces of paper and the writing was in cursive ink, beautiful and poetic in a way. Taeyong held it out like a fragile object in his hands towards Mark who gingerly accepted it. 

“Why do you have it?” Mark asked after a couple of seconds, eyes scanning the pages. 

“He didn’t want his adoptive parents, your parents, to find it. He said he would tell them he knew when the time was right and I guess,” Taeyong paused. “I guess it wasn’t ever the right time.” 

“I never knew,” Jaehyun mumbled. 

“It’s just that… he never told me,” Mark said, tears welling in his eyes. 

Taeyong looked onward at the boy. Mark looked smaller now, and vulnerable. The younger clutched the shirt of his friend and cried into it. It broke Taeyong’s heart. It broke Jaehyun’s heart. Heck it broke Doyoung’s heart and he didn’t even know the kid. 

“He never told me,” the small boy repeated quietly and sobbed into the other boy’s arms.


	5. Words Not Meant for You

It was raining. Why did it have to be raining? It seemed so cliché: too cliché for Taeyong accept the fact that right now he was standing, with a bunch of boys he never met, before a mailbox on the side of town that anyone rarely used, and sopping wet from the sky’s relentless torment. Oh, and Jaehyun’s truck’s radio was still playing softly in the distance if that made it any more stereotypical which yes Taeyong thought it did. 

The mailbox was an old faded baby blue, sitting with flecks of paint peeling off the sides and its stand precariously tilted to the left. It sat before the edge of the woods right next to the sign welcoming you into town. It was usually quite quiet out this way, barely traveled by anyone. Well, except for now when Taeyong stood next to nearly the entire starting line-up for the Soo-Man basketball team minus a certain missing captain, their kind faced manager Taeil, two boyfriends (one of which he had met earlier that day and the other who stole his granola bars on a daily basis), one almost sort-of maybe boyfriend that Taeyong noticed Mark was absolutely whipped for, and Doyoung. No Doyoung was not getting a special introduction. Especially when Taeyong was shivering and wet and well… scared. 

“I’m really scared too, hyung,” Mark said as Taeyong paused before the box and maybe it made him feel a little better. 

The 10 of them had driven down as soon as school had let out. Originally it had just been Jaehyun, Mark, and Taeyong. But then Hyuckie - or Haechan, or Donghyuck, or whatever his name was, seriously these kids needed to start sticking to one name- had clung to Mark’s arm and insisted he needed to go too. And then WinWin and Doyoung, who had witnessed the scene said they couldn’t not go. From there, WinWin had told his boyfriend, Yuta and Yuta had told the entire rest of the boy’s starting players. And it was odd, seeing all the concerned faced terrified for Youngho, or Johnny as Taeyong was consistently reminding himself. Well, everyone was concerned but Doyoung. Honestly, Taeyong thought the other came because a certain Junior vice-captain was attractive and coincidentally single. 

But the box, that horrid box. It taunted Taeyong the moment he laid eyes on it out the window. And he stood, hand outstretched and breathe caught in his throat before it. Before Taeyong could make up his mind, Jaehyun lunged forward and threw the top open, snatching a letter from inside. It sat in his palm for a moment, the rain running the ink on the outside. It was a women’s name and an address, quickly washing away. 

“You’re going to ruin it!” Taeyong chastised, grabbing it from the younger’s hands and stuffing it in his jacket. 

“Hey where you going?’ Jaehyun called out frantically as Taeyong trudged back to the truck. 

“Somewhere dry,” he yelled back, watching as the rest of their haphazard crew followed, leaving Jaehyun standing alone at the box. 

They all gathered in and around the truck, the back doors thrown open to the storm, bodies crammed inside and hanging out into the dark, dreary afternoon. A chorus of voices surrounded Taeyong as he sat there, silently nestles in the passenger seat with his door firmly shut, cradling the note. 

“What does it say?”

“Is it Johnny’s?”

“Of course, it’s Johnny’s! Look at that chicken scratch.” 

“I can’t see!” 

“What if it’s not even his letter!?” 

“Does he write l’s like that? I didn’t know he wrote l’s like that.” 

“What’s on it? What’s on it?” 

Taeyong almost fell out into the mud as his door was yanked open suddenly. There stood Jaehyun with an unreadable expression. Jaehyun shushed the car with a finger to his lips, even the rowdiest of the bunch immediately shutting up. 

“Well,” he eventually said, looking at Taeyong. “Aren’t you going to open it?”


	6. Flashback: 2 1/2 weeks ago

“Have you ever gone stargazing?” Youngho blurted one lazy, slow Wednesday afternoon, setting Taeyong’s guitar down on his lap.

Taeyong looked at him indignantly, over the rim of his glasses. 

“You’re supposed to be tuning the guitar.” 

Youngho smirked at him. “Sometimes I get distracted.” 

Taeyong scoffed and didn’t dignify that with a response, motioning toward the guitar in a silent effort to say, ‘just tune the goddamn guitar.’ 

“What’s your favorite star?” Youngho pestered. 

“My what now?” 

“Your favorite star?” Youngho reiterated, staring at Taeyong so intently it made a shiver run down his spine. 

“Oh, um, I don’t think I’ve ever thought about that before.” 

“Mine’s Vega,” he smiled and Taeyong wasn’t surprised at all Youngho did have one, not when the boy literally smiled as bright as one. 

“Vega… Vega… I don’t think I know that one,” Taeyong mused seriously. 

“It’s the 5th brightest star in the night sky!” 

“Why would you like the fifth brightest star when you could like the brightest one?” Taeyong asked confused. 

“I think,” Youngho said thoughtfully, gaze falling over to the other where he sat, “the most beautiful star is the one that gets overlooked.” 

‘Ok, what the hell,’ Taeyong thought. ‘Why is this ridiculously charming man-child allowed to say things like this to me.’ 

Here’s the catch. He didn’t think it at all. Youngho’s bellowed laugh filled the room in an instant and Taeyong felt beyond mortified. 

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to say that,” Taeyong groaned, attempting to shrink in on himself in utter and complete embarrassment. 

“So you didn’t mean to call me a ridiculously charming man-child?” 

“Please, stop.” 

“The ridiculously charming part I agree with,” he winked. “I do, however, take offense for the man-child bit of it.” 

“Youngho, stop it.” 

“What can I do? I’m merely a ridiculously charming man-child.” 

“I’ll take it back if you don’t shut up,” Taeyong complained. 

Youngho’s smirk fell off his face. The expression which took its place was so unguarded that it scared Taeyong. He had never seen another human being look so vulnerable in front of him before. 

“Would you?” the boy asked. 

“Would I what?” 

Youngho held his gaze against Taeyong’s. “Would you take it back? Do you not think I’m charming?” 

“Of, course you’re charming. You already know that,” Taeyong muttering waving him off. 

“I didn’t ask that. I asked if _you_ think I’m charming.” 

Taeyong blushed deep to his core, a dust of rosy pink on the surface of his face. He tried to fight it down but the damned look Youngho was giving him didn’t help the situation much at all. 

“Would you like to go?” the boy asked him. 

Taeyong sputtered, uncertain. “Would I like to go where?” 

“Would you like to go stargazing with me?” 


	7. Tomorrow

“What does it say?” Lucas asked, peeking his head over the console. 

Haechan huffed from his position smushed between the other and Mark. “Well, that’s a dumb question.” 

“Well, what else would I ask?” Lucas replied defensively. 

“I don’t know, you could just stop talking for once.” 

“Are you seriously going to grill me right now, Donghyuck?” 

“Johnny would have stopped them by now,” Taeil sighed. 

“Well, Johnny’s not here right now is he?!” Haechan shouted. 

The space became very quiet from a moment before Taeyong shuffled the pages of the letter around in his hands. 

“It says he’s scared…” 

“What?” Jaehyun asked him. 

“The note. The note says he’s scared.” 

“Wait what? Why would Johnny be afraid?”

“I – I don’t know,” Taeyong stammered. “I honestly have no idea.” 

“Why exactly does it say?’ 

Taeyong took in a deep breathe, squared his shoulders, and began to read it aloud to the pile of entranced boys around him. 

_Dear Myoryon,  
How are you? How’s the book club? You just read Wuthering Heights, right? I know I haven’t written to you in a short while and I’m sorry. The truth is, I’m scared. And I know I should have said something earlier, but I never thought it would get to this point and I didn’t want to worry you. I don’t think I’ve ever really been this scared in my life. But, I’m okay. I promise I’m okay. Or I will be. I need you to know that I want, more than anything in the world, to meet you someday. I won’t be writing for a while. There is something I need to take care of right. Something very important. I’m sure you’ve figured it out by now. If you need anything, anything at all, please find Taeyong. You remember Yongie, right? I know he’ll help. Anyways, I love you and I’ll see you soon.  
Your son,  
Youngho  
_

“What the hell?” Jaehyun groaned out under his breathe, eyes trained on the pages which sat in Taeyong’s lap, as if somehow if he stared hard enough at the words they would change and maybe, even maybe, this would all go away and Johnny wouldn’t be missing. 

“He left?” Mark spoke up from the back, clutching his hands so tightly Taeyong was worried the boy would hurt himself which was apparently what Donghyuck felt too because the bright boy was moving to hold the other’s hands gently in his. 

“Well, this wasn’t very helpful.” 

Everyone whipped their heads around to Yuta. He stood beside the truck, shoved up next to WinWin, long ginger hair hanging around his face in wettened strands. 

“We don’t even know who she is.” 

“It’s better than nothing,” Jungwoo pouted. 

“Myoryon? We don’t even have an address for her,” Doyoung pointed out. “Jaehyun just ruined it.” 

“Who even are you?” the accused boy bit back. 

“I’m here to help, Mr. perfect hair.” 

Jaehyun’s face scrunched up in bewilderment. “What does that even-”

“We’ll just have to find her, okay?” Taeyong interrupted. 

And god, maybe he should not have said that because now everyone was looking to him for leadership. It felt weird, bearing the sudden gazes of expectation from a bunch of boys who looked more broken than hopeful. It didn’t help they all looked like weary wet dogs too. 

“What do we do now?” Mark asked him and damn if Taeyong wasn’t terrified to answer but he knew Mark was terrified too. And Jaehyun. And Lucas and Donghyuck and Jungwoo. Everyone: everyone was hurting. 

“We go to bed,” Taeyong said eventually, raising his chin up. “We go to bed and then tomorrow we look.” 

Yuta took Lucas, Jungwoo, and Taeil with him afterwards, shuffling a sleepy WinWin along next to him. Taeyong stayed in his seat, sitting quietly as Jaehyun drove them all home. After they dropped off a suspiciously energetic Doyoung and a grumbling Haechan, Mark finally let out all the stressed tension he had been holding in his body. He exhaled so deeply Taeyong felt it wake the air in the truck, shaking the space between them.

“You know he was learning guitar for you,” Taeyong said quietly as Jaehyun’s truck buzzed down the street. “He said you wanted to learn and that your parents couldn’t afford lessons so he was going be the one to teach you. 

Taeyong met Mark’s eye in the rearview window and smiled softly. “That’s why he asked me to give him lessons.” 

Mark’s bottom lip trembled. “Really?”

“Yeah. I swear he talked about you more than he breathed.” 

“He talked about you too, hyung.” 

That caught Taeyong off guard. “He did?”

“Yeah. He said you were really pretty. And talented too.” Mark then looked down at his feet on the floor. “I’m sorry I didn’t try to get to know you sooner.” 

“That’s ok.” 

“No. It isn’t. Because now Johnny isn’t even here to introduce us. What was that idiot thinking?”


	8. Reliving Unfond Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A note? A warning? A preemptive explanation? I don't know what to call it, but I just want to say every mention of Johnny's parents is me operating off a completely fictional character and in way do I know anything about Johnny's real dad. I mean, the guy has to be great. He raised Johnny after all. Two suave gentlemen, I'm sure.  
> Anyways, that's all. Oh and there's actually a plot now. So that's fun too.  
> Also, I think I almost cried when Johnny's mom met Taeyong in real life: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDd5yGt_cRA&t=51s (44 seconds if you're interested)

Johnny’s mom is… interesting. The second Taeyong introduced himself to the woman at the door, she had his cheeks in her hands and is kissing him on the head repeatedly. His eyes open in a naïve awe at the love this woman is showering him in, but he doesn’t resist. Instead he smiles and laughs and lets her hug the living daylights out of him. Jaehyun, Mark, and Yuta stand at his side, awkwardly shifting from foot to foot but nodding politely, nonetheless. She pulls them all through the door with gentle hands, welcoming them inside like she’s known them all her life. 

It’s a quiet house, on a lazy street, with green grass in the yard. There’s a small wreathe on the outside, left over from Christmas probably, and a slew of flowers in the bushes on either side of the windows. It’s beautiful and quaint and Taeyong thinks even if it was falling down and abandoned he would love it because, well, it’s Johnny’s home. 

The inside is littered with newspaper clippings of the SM basketball team. A large framed picture of them at the regional championships sits on the wall over the staircase. Myoryon is beaming but behind her eyes they can all see she’s worried. She’s only asked them about 5 times since they came inside where Johnny is. They don’t have the heart to tell her yet, each of them swallowing the lump in their throat and bowing their heads. She leads them into the kitchen, pulling Mark into an impossibly tight hug when the boy says he’s Johnny’s brother and it’s nothing but astonished pride on his face when she says ‘You’re family too’.

“Ma’am,” Yuta speaks up and Taeyong thinks he really doesn’t the other all too well. But here, he supposes, having skipped school on Thursday to drive 4 hours to the childhood home of a missing friends,  
is an opportune place to do so. 

“Johnny is missing,” he eventually follows up and the look which passes Myoryon’s face is heartbreaking. 

“Missing? What do you mean my baby is missing?” 

The boy has dropped the cocky smiles and the hair tousling. He isn’t grinning a wide, bright smile, but instead he looks solemn and serious. Yuta is the only one who had the guts to address Johnny’s mom and for that, Taeyong thinks, they are all grateful. Had it been him… well, he’s probably be bawling at this point. 

“He’s been gone for about 40 hours at this point,” Yuta explains. “He never came home Tuesday night and he hasn’t contacted anyone for as long.”  
Myoryon sits there in stunned silence. 

Jaehyun leans forward and places a hand on her arm. “Have you heard from him at all since then?” and it’s desperate, so desperate that the tears are now prickling in Mark’s eyes and Taeyong is drawing the boy into an awkward side hug where he’s seated next to the younger. 

Myoryon’s lip trembles and they all know the answer without her saying it. Taeyong reaches into his pocket and pulls out Johnny’s letter, setting it gently on the surface of the table. 

“He meant to send you this letter before he disappeared,” Taeyong says softly. “I thought you might want to read it.” 

When she’s done scanning the pages, turning them over and over again in her hands like they’re glass, she makes eye contact with Taeyong. 

“Thank you,” she breathes out but it’s so quiet its more so as if she just mouthed the words. 

“Ma’am-” Mark starts to say before she’s stopping him with a sad smile. 

“Call me auntie,” she coaxes the young boy. 

“Auntie,” Mark starts again. “What did he mean by something important? Why did he say you would know?” he implores the woman. 

Myoryon sighs and looks back down at the letter. 

"His father was...” she pauses. “…is a bad man. That's why I left him. That's why I gave Youngho up,” she mutter sadly. 

Jaehyun, Taeyong, Yuta, and Mark all sit there silently, waiting for her to continue. The house could have caught on fire in that moment, an apocalyptic bombardment could have come tumbling  
over them, but not a single person in that room would have moved a muscle. 

“And I know I should have been stronger. That I should have left his dad a lot sooner, but I was young and naïve. It’s no excuse to giving my baby up, but well, he didn’t deserve the life he was born into and I wasn’t ready to leave just yet.” 

“Do you think he went looking for his father?” Jaehyun asks and she laughs dryly. 

“Oh, I know that’s where the boy went. I think he’s as stubborn as I am. I told him… about a week ago. All that his father done. I’m sure Youngho was angry. I’m angry, too. Still, after all these years, one would think I’d be able to move on but no.” 

“Is he- is he dangerous?” Mark stutters out, clutching Taeyong’s hand tightly under the table. 

“Jaewoon? I honestly couldn’t say. He did a lot of bad things to a lot of people but he never hurt anyone. Not that I know of.” 

“And how did he feel about you giving up Youngho?” Taeyong adds in. 

Myoryon sympathetically looks at the boy. “He never wanted a child. He wasn’t… a family man.” 

“Auntie, this is very important,” Jaehyun says slowly. “He need to know where Jaewoon lives.”  
  
“I can call up the local station and ask them. I have a restraining order, so they’ll have his address on file, I’m sure.” 

All four of the boys freeze, boys tense. She looks up with a broken attempt at a smile and sighs, standing up abruptly from her seat. 

“Well, I’d rather not talk that, boys. Please,” she says softly holding Jaehyun’s hands in hers. “Please go find my boy.”


	9. Flashback: 1 week ago

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a Johnny POV. Don't worry he gets another present one in a bit.

“Let’s go out today,” Johnny says when he waltzes into the music room Monday afternoon, all shiny hair and white toothed grin, the dimples Taeyong had become accustomed to present on his cheeks. 

The water Taeyong had been drinking from his water bottle douses him as he sputters at the other’s casual words. He heaves a labored breathe into his lungs and balks at the him. Johnny chuckles softly as the other sits there in astonishment. 

“I’m sorry, what?” the boy replies, voice cracking slightly. 

“Let’s leave the school, today,” Johnny smiles. “What did you think I meant, Yongie?” he wiggles his eyebrows knowingly, adoring the other’s reaction. 

Taeyong just blushes and mutters something Johnny can’t quite hear in response. 

“I’m thinking ice cream,” Johnny muses, tapping his chin. 

Taeyong gives me an unamused expression. “It’s the middle of the winter.”

“So?”

“So, it’s too cold for ice cream,” Taeyong explains like he’s convincing a child and honestly, Johnny probably will always be a child at heart which is both endearing and infuriating. 

“It’s never too cold for ice cream,” Johnny winks and grabs the other’s hand to drag him away from his waiting guitar. 

Johnny is positively bouncing on the balls of his feet. Why the hell did he grab Taeyong’s hand like that? His hands got sweaty so easily. Oh god did Taeyong think his sweaty hands were gross? But no, the smaller boy held tightly onto Johnny’s hand and obediently followed along, albeit grumbling about not learning the Aeolian Mode yet. 

It’s still pretty cold outside for the middle of February. There’s no snow, hasn’t been snow in town for about 3 years but it’s chilly, nonetheless. Taeyong is adorably wrapped up in a gigantic scarf that Johnny, of course, has to make fun of, all the while hiding his fluttering heart under a teasing smirk. Taeyong takes it in stride, sticking his tongue out at Johnny’s bare face which is getting red from the wind. 

The walk isn’t too long but, Johnny starts complaining about 5 minutes into it, groaning about wanting the warm bundle around Taeyong’s neck. 

“Better suck it up Casanova,” Taeyong jokes.

“You’re heartless, Yongie.” 

“You,” Taeyong pokes him in the chest. “Made fun of my scarf,” he goads turning on his heel and waltzing away, leaving Johnny laughing softly behind him. 

When they’re standing in line at the empty ice cream parlor, Johnny’s phone rings. He looks confusedly at the number before telling Taeyong to order without him. He relays his order in the other’s ear and apologizes. Johnny can’t help but notice the disappointed look on Taeyong’s face as he stepped away, putting the phone to his ear. He stares at the edge of Taeyong’s jawline as the other murmurs their orders to the girl behind the counter. It distracts him for a moment under the person on the other end of the line calls his name. 

“Taeil? Yeah … wait no, I’m actually out right… I don’t know…. Can we just meet tomorrow? Yeah? Okay, bye man.” 

Johnny pockets his phone and takes a second to try to recall any plans he had made with the other boy and when he can’t remember, shrugs it off. He hadn’t realized it, but the week and a half since he got the cast on his ankle he hadn’t seen the basketball team all the much. Of course, he saw them at school and on the weekends. It was different, not having had an actual long conversation with his manager for so long but he looks over at Taeyong, standing there with two ice cream cones and a twinkle in his eye, and Johnny thinks different is good. 

“Yeah, different can be very good,’ he thinks watching Taeyong wave him over and almost spill the cone he’s holding onto the floor before catching it.


	10. The House on the Hill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh, I really need to do some of these in between chapters but know I have the last one written already and I am teeming with excitement to post it soon.  
> Anyways, hope the story is okay.  
> :))

The drive up the mountain was grueling, even in daylight with the afternoon sun setting at their backs. It turned out Johnny’s father only lived an hour away from their hometown, so after dropping by the school to pick up the stragglers of their group at the insistence of approximately 200 text messages from WinWin and Haechan to Yuta and Mark’s phones and one very passive aggressive one from Doyoung to Jaehyun (how the boy got his number, Taeyong did not know), they made their way up a steep and winding road to a scribbled address on a the back of a gas station receipt. The police had been more than willing to supply Myoryon with the address without asking questions which was, to Taeyong, slightly suspicious but he let it pass. They piled out of the two cars, 10 teenage boys filling the small dirt driveway, and approached the house. 

“What are you kids doing here?” the man bit out after opening the door. 

“We’re, uh, Johnny’s friends,” Lucas smiled at the man. 

“I don’t know a Johnny,” the man said and moved to slam the door shut before Jaehyun caught it with his hand. 

The boy smiled, but it was not as nice as Lucas’s had been. It was menacing and stretched fake across his features. 

“You are Jaewoon, correct?” he asked. 

The man nodded. 

“We’re looking for your son, Youngho.” 

The man’s eyes widened for a second in recognition before he gulped and grit out “I don’t have a son.” 

But that one second was all they needed. 

“Please, sir,” Mark finally spoke up. “Johnny is missing.” 

The man simply huffed. “Is that right?” 

At the solemn nods of the children on his porch he sighed and opened the door wide at his side. “Come on in then, I suppose.”

Their bodies barely fit into the small space, smushing together and packed into the tiny wooden room. The man walked over to a chair in front of his fireplace and groaned as he lowered his figure into it. 

“Name’s Jaewoon but apparently you boys already know that,” he laughed dryly. “So Youngho is missing?” 

“This is the last place anyone saw him…” Doyoung narrowed his eyes. 

“Hmmm, very interesting,” Jaewoon simply hummed. “What’s you name kid?” 

“Doyoung.” 

“Well, Doyoung, I don’t take too kindly to people showing up at my door and accusing me of doing something they can’t even say to my face so out with it.” 

“We’re not saying anything, sir, we just-” 

Jaewoon held up his hand and cut Jungwoo off. 

“Not saying anything? Not saying I’m responsible for my own son’s disappearance, are you? Because it sure sounded like it.” 

“What did you do with Johnny?” Taeil demanded, stepping up to the man from behind Lucas and Jungwoo. “We know he came here. Just tell us already.” 

“Shut your mouth, Taeil. You know nothing about me or my son. I did nothing.” 

“Why does his mom have a restraining order then?!” Taeil yelled at him. 

Haechan and Jaehyun reached out to the elder boy to comfort him but he shrugged them off, clearly infuriated. 

“I never touched him!” Jaewoon yelled, raising his voice so haggard and high that it shook the ground they stood on. 

The man caught himself, dropping his tense muscles in defeat, all the guilt pooling out of his body like an open wound. The group stood still and watched him. 

“I never laid a hand on my boy,” he rasped out amidst an angry flew of tears. “No… not in a million years. “

It was so silent, the passing wind creaking the old cottage as it flew by. The floorboards moaned under their feet like weak and tired men and the trees rustled frantically in a flurry of movement outside the window. 

“I would never…” he finally breathed out. 

“Jaewoon, where is he? Where is Youngho?” Taeyong asked the broken man whose eyes were open and bleeding out a weeping pain. 

“I don’t know,” he said quietly. “I don’t know.” 

Taeyong approached the man calmly, a gentleness in his voice. “Tell me what happened, Jaewoon. I need to know.” 

“I yelled at him. He yelled back at me. I yelled again… and then he left.” 

“Where? Where did Johnny go?” Jaehyun pestered the man. 

“They got into the car,” Jaewoon threw back quickly. 

WinWin inclined his head. “What do you mean the-“ 

“Youngho,” the man corrected. “Youngho got into the car. He was mad and he stormed out and drove off. That’s all I know; I promise. Just please,” he sighed. “Please leave an old man alone  
with his guilt.” 

"Sir, we're sorry, we just," Mark paused looking at the man, his brother's father. "We need to find Johnny. It's been days and we have no idea where he is. You have no idea who I am but Johnny is my brother and I... I honestly don't know what I would ever do without him. He holds my life together. Before this, I had no idea what a day without him would look like and I consider myself so lucky for never knowing. And now that I do... I miss the idiot like crazy." 

Mark looked back at the boys, all huddled by the door, ready to walk away from the sad broken man in the house on the hill. 

"He hold their lives together too. And he's the most amazing person I've ever met. What I'm saying is," Mark looked back to Jaewoon. "You should be so proud of Johnny. Even if you don't consider him your son anymore and even if it hurts, just do that. Just be proud of him." 

Jaewoon said nothing in response. He stood there processing the words as Mark walked back to his friends. 

“You kids better take the shortcut down. It’s getting late.” 

"Thank you, sir," Mark said and then he shut the door.


	11. Is It Better off Not Knowing?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I should be evil laughing at this point but I don't want to be mean so instead i'll just keep writing the next chapter

“That was heavy,” Lucas said once they had gotten outside and walked to their cars which earned him a slap on the head from one side by a pouting Jungwoo and a slap on the other side from a glaring WinWin. 

“What?” 

“You’re lucky I love you,” Jungwoo grumbled. 

Lucas looked over at WinWin’s death stare. 

The small leaned into Lucas’s ear. “I will suffocate you in your sleep if you don’t shut up,” he whispered before walking over to Yuta and wrapping his arms around the elder in a hug. 

“You okay, Markie?” a voice asked and Taeyong saw the boy holding back tears, hand tightly clasped around Donghyuck’s. 

“Yeah,” he breathed back quietly, not letting go. 

“Well,” Doyoung said. “What do we do now?” 

“I hate to say it but there isn’t anything we can do.” 

“What the hell Taeil!?” Jaehyun screamed in his face. “What do you mean nothing we can do? Are you seriously telling me there isn’t a single goddamn thing I can do to find my best friend?” 

“Jaehyun,” Yuta attempted to say but Jaehyun whipped around to him. 

“What?! Did you give up to?” Jaehyun accused, malice dripping from his voice. 

“NONE OF US ARE GIVING UP!” 

Nine heads, soundlessly and suddenly, turned to face Taeyong. 

“We’re not giving up,” Taeyong repeated. 

“Well, where do we go?” Taeil asked. “You expect us to wander the woods all night looking for him? Ask every squirrel we see if they saw him Tuesday night?” 

“I hate to say it but he’s got a point,” Doyoung interjected. 

“We don’t even know where to look,” Yuta responded. 

“We can’t just stop looking…” Jaehyun breathed out and it sounded so desperately lost. 

“We won’t,” Taeyong told the other placing a hand on his bicep. “But there isn’t anything we can do right now. We should go find a hotel or something and we can search in the morning. Maybe he stopped by a gas station or a diner at the base.” 

“He’s right,” a voice responded but it wasn’t Jaehyun. 

Mark stood on the bottom stair of the porch, still clutching onto Donghyuck at his side. “We should look in the morning. It’s getting dark.” 

Mark, Donghyuck, Doyoung, and Taeyong piled into Jaehyun’s truck while the others stuffed into Yuta’s beamer. Mark was still glued to the other boy, fighting to hold the last little bit of hope he still had left in his trembling hands. The sun had set faster than they expected it to, leaving the amber rays of the last light to transition into faded pinks and oranges as they entered the vehicles. By the time they were both on the small path down the backside of the mountain, the sky was a dark blue and purple haze against the treetops. 

The back road was even narrower than the trip up the hill had been. It curved impossibly more and, in the passing light, Jaehyun had to stare intently at the road as he drove. Taeyong listened to the faint crunching of the dirt under their tires and began to close his eyes at the lulling motion of the truck’s passage. 

“Jaehyun!” Mark suddenly screamed eyes trained on the slightest hint of the edge of a glinting metal bumper on the left side of the road. 

It was also, coincidentally, where their car was currently barreling toward. Jaehyun, upon hearing his name, abruptly slammed down on the brakes as soon as he saw it, and the car heaved at the sudden command, careening out down the road and out of control. It swayed ever so slightly to the left. The car skidded to a stop right before the edge of the road, the curve unmarked in the night and sitting before a large drop from the cliff face. 

They all breathed heavily, terrified and speechless. 

“Hell, I barely even saw that,” Jaehyun said stunned. 

Yuta’s car came rushing to a stop behind them. The doors were flung open as the rest of their group rushed over to the truck. 

“Wait, do you guys see that?” Donghyuck asked pointing toward the road. 

“What are you…” Jaehyun started to asked before he slowly began to follow the line of the younger boy’s fingers. 

And then they saw the hole in the guardrail. Everyone in the car paused, gazes locked onto the splintered wooden posts and the harshly cut metal around the opening. It was roughly the size of a car and the same exact location theirs would have ended up if not for Jaehyun. They simply sat and stared at it before Doyoung said what they were all thinking. 

“I think I know where Johnny is.”


	12. Flashback: Tuesday Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> p.s. at this point in the story the current timeline is on Thurday night

Johnny just met his father. His stupid, low life, good for nothing father. And he’s seething, oh is he seething with such a putridly pungent rage that it comes off him in waves. The man is a jerk, a complete and total jerk. Now he knows why Myoryon didn’t want him to come, didn’t want him to know about their past. But he was curious. Johnny was just so curious he had to ignore her warnings and see for himself. And god is he disappointed at what he found. 

He slams the door to the car shut and sits there, stewing in anger for a second before turning the car back on. It sputters awake and in his hurry to put distance between himself and Jaewoon, he tears out of the driveway so quickly he forgets his seat belt. 

“Don’t even ask,” he says and receives a silent nod in response which he is so incredibly grateful for. 

They drive for a moment, perhaps only 100 meters, before Johnny huffs out a groan and bears his teeth. 

“No!” he yells out. “You know what? No! I am not going to be disappointed. I knew this would happen and I was told this happen and I refuse to be let down by some random man in a freaking shed who wants nothing to do with me!” 

It’s dark, pitch black, and Johnny can’t see a thing. He distantly wonders why he even listened to his dad. ‘No not his dad,’ he reminds himself. That man wanted nothing to do with him and if Jaewoon wasn’t willing to take responsibility for Myoryon or him, then, well he was fine with that. Really, honestly, he was fine. Maybe, just maybe, if he said it enough times he could convince even himself. 

“God, I can’t believe this!” he grunts out, slapping his hands on the steering wheel in frustration. “Why the hell did I even come.” 

The trees zip by as the car rockets down the road. The car is going too fast, Johnny knows. He knows this isn’t safe and still, with a gritted jaw and irritation practically chocking his throat as he heaved in maddened breathes, he cant stop. He feels like there’s a noose around his neck that’s slowly slipping tighter and tighter and he hates it. He hates the way he feels right now because that some guy that didn’t even raise him. 

“How did my mom ever put up with him?” he bites out and the sympathetic look coming his way from the passenger does not help. 

“What?” he asks. 

“I think it’s a little unfair to place all these expectations on a man who never wanted a child,” the voice says. 

“Are you kidding me?” 

“I do. I think you need to learn to get over the fact that he’s a not good person and he never will be.” 

“I’m allowed to be upset,” Johnny screams. 

“Of course! Of course you’re allowed to be upset… and angry and whatever the hell else you feel right now. But not with him! Don’t let him ruin your life, Johnny. Don’t let me matter!” 

“God,” Johnny breathes out. “I should have brought Taeyong.” 

He catches a withering look at his side. 

“What now?”

“Taeyong seriously?” the voice explodes. “You wish you brought Taeyong. That guy is not cut out for stuff like this.” 

“You haven’t even met him how would you know?” 

“Because I’m the one cut out for stuff like this!” 

“What the hell does that mean?”

“It means I love you!” 

That definitely had johnny pausing, has him staring at the other in confusion and surprise at words he never thought he would hear come from that mouth. He gaps at the passenger like a fish, just utter disbelief passing over his features. 

His voice is a whisper when it comes out next. “What?” 

“Pull over!” 

“No.”

“I said pull over!”

“No!” Johnny yells. “We’re going to talk about this. We’re going to-”

And then a hand reaches out from the passenger seat and tugs the wheel to the left in an impulsive jerk. 

“What are you-” 

And then the hand is gone and Johnny is left staring at the figure in the passenger seat in shock as the car goes careening over the side of the mountain. 

There’s a horrid screeching noise and a as they go flying over the edge, a twitch of metal screaming as the car breaks through the guardrail and goes plummeting beyond. There’s a heavy thumping as the back tires hit the edge of the road and it jerks the vehicle, tipping the front down. And down it goes. Thundering through the air, windshield swiped with tree branches, lurching at each and every impact. The glass begins to shatter more at each hit, Johnny’s body hurdling forward at the movement, and then it all stops. 

The car slams into a tree at the bottom and the motion has Johnny’s body snapping back so fast, he almost blacks out. Everything hurts and the loud noise of his demise is still ringing in his ears. He’s tired, so tired. The weight of the pressure on his skull is excruciating and his bones hurt. Johnny tries to reach out his arm to feel for the body beside him but notices its pinned behind his back. And with the last bit of strength seeping from his body, he goes to close his eyes for a second, only a second, to take a rest. Then, everything goes black.


	13. Under Cover of Treetops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the slow update. I was procrastinating. And before you say something, I also did not want me to be doing that.

No one slept that night: not a soul willing to close eyes to the darkness where they knew, surely knew, another was waiting for them. Hearts stuck in a restless frenzy continued pumping well into the night until one brave soul came knocking on their doors, and then they awoke to a day of reckoning. 

Over the mountains, its jagged peaks, the sun rose until was finally high enough to spill over the tops and tumble down onto the valley. The first rays of light set out, stretching themselves over cliffs and trees, rooftops and heads. Echoes of its faint beams drifted through the trees and dusted the earth below in a spattered glow. In the quiet stillness of the morning, in the gentle breathes exhaled in the fragile hour, ten backs stood to the hill, strong and united. They wavered not in the early chill which frosted the air, nor bent low when the icy winds blew in, rocketing through the forest to whip their hair. 

The car. No one was in the car. The passenger door sat open, but the other side was too mangled to wedge open, the metal stuck in a vice of parts. There was a faint spattering of blood in between the cracks on the windshield and littering on the earth with the broken glass from where the driver’s side window previously was. The vehicle was crushed at the front, the engine smashed in on itself and the hood of the car crumpled up like a piece of paper. 

Mark started crying as soon as he saw the empty car, heaving sobs of relief racking his body as Jaehyun held him. 

“How will we find him? How do we even begin to start looking?” Haechan asked in a small voice, gaze still locked on the blood and glass amidst the pine needles. 

“We’ll have to split up,” Jaehyun answered resolutely, staring out over the forest. “And we won’t stop looking until we’re done.” 

_The search Part 1: WinWin and Yuta_

“Exactly how big is this forest?” WinWin asked for the 3rd time in the 20 minutes since they had set out from the road. 

“I have know idea. Why would I know?” Yuta shrugged. 

“I mean…” WinWin paused, chewing his bottom lip. “How long would it take to search the whole thing? Like how many days?” 

Yuta rubbed the back of his neck for a moment, thinking. “Given that there’s only ten of us?”

WinWin nodded. 

“And assuming that Johnny is even here at all?”

The younger boy nodded again, although a desperate sadness washed over his features at the question. 

“I don’t know,” Yuta sighed. “But we gotta keep looking.” 

“But what if one of us gets lost?” 

Yuta reached out and grabbed his hand with a brave smile. “You think I would let that happen?” 

WinWin gave a gentle upturning of his lips in reply, lacing their fingers together with a silent shaking of his head. 

“See. It’s going to be fine.”

_The search part 2: Jaehyun and Doyoung_

Jaehyun had been relatively quiet since they had all found the car abandoned and in such a horrid state he doubted anyone made it out alive. But there was not a single body, not Johnny’s body, and so he dared to hope. 

Doyoung had taken the lead from the other and remained tightlipped, only occasionally asking questions about their path of travel. Although, one particular question had the vice-captain reeling. 

“What if we don’t find him?” 

Jaehyun stopped dead in his tracks and turned around slowly to face Doyoung. "Why are you even here? Why are you even helping us?" 

“Why does it matter?” Doyoung answered defensively. “You need all the help you can get.”

“No seriously, Doyoung,” Jaehyun tried again, getting in front of the other boy and stopping him from moving away. “Why are helping us look for someone you don’t even like?” 

“Because I care, okay?” he huffed. “How heartless do people think I am that I wouldn’t go looking for a missing boy, a missing classmate.”

“It’s not that I just don’t appreciate the cynicism. Why the hell else would you be out in the middle of the woods looking for him if you thought he was already dead?” 

Doyoung stared him down.

“No seriously why the hell are you here right now?” 

“Because he’s my freaking best friend’s…” Doyoung struggled to find the exact term, pulling his hand through his hair. “…I don’t even know what to call him. And I hate seeing him this sad and you all are so sad and this whole goddamn thing is just…” 

“Sad?” 

Doyoung sighed in response. 

“Hey, look, I’m sorry…” Jaehyun attempted to apologize. “it’s just… you think I haven’t been asking myself that same question since this all happened. I mean, what if we never find him?” 

“We’re going to find him,” Doyoung said. 

“But what if-”

“We’re going to find him because I care,” Doyoung said again with so much conviction it was convincing Jaehyun that everyone would be alright. 

He was just about to thank the other before the next words out of Doyoung’s mouth stopped him. 

“Because you care about him and I care about you.” 

_The search part 3: Lucas and Jungwoo_

“Didn’t we already pass this tree like 5 minutes ago?” Lucas asked, neck strained to stare skyward along the trunk from where he stood at the base. 

Jungwoo eyed him skeptically. “How can you tell?” 

“I don’t know. It just looks kind of familiar, right?” 

“Are you honestly telling me you think you can recognize trees now?” Jungwoo raised his eyebrow. 

“Yes,” Lucas answered truthfully. 

“Okay, bear grills,” Jungwoo called out, stepping into a dense thicket of trees. “You’ll be fine if I take the map then.” 

“Wait babe no-“ Lucas yelled, audibly scared and jogging after him into the forest.


	14. What Happens in Limbo

_The search part 4: Mark and Haechan_

“I feel like I’m an adventurer but also I’m sad,” Haechan mumbled thoughtfully. “It’s like sad hide and go seek.” 

Mark looked over at the smaller boy to see his lips sticking out in a large pout. 

“That’s a terrible analogy,” he said.

Haechan scoffed and hit him on the arm. “Sorry, if my sleep deprived brain can’t think of better analogies to please you right now.” 

Mark knew the other was just trying to cheer him up. It’s what they did. They bantered and they fought and they teased. But at the end of the day, if he had incurred any real injuries, real or emotional, Haechan was the one to bandage him. He was safe and he was home. 

“Where do we even start?” Mark lamented, staring at the large ravine before them. 

Haechan walked over, fumbling with the map as he wrestled it open. “Here!” he pointed to a spot just on the edge of a road. 

Mark looked over and laughed quietly as turned the map the right side up. 

“Here!” Haechan tried again, pointing to their current location this time. 

“Thanks, Hyuckie,” Mark smiled. “What would I do without you?” 

“You’d probably get lost,” the younger teased with a smirk.

Mark stood there, the weight of the past couple of days settling on his shoulder but for the first time feeling as though he didn’t have to bear it alone. 

“I’m not lost when I’m with you,” he finally said with so much sincerity that it had Haechan fake gagging in response. 

_The search part 5: Taeil and Taeyong_

“Hey, is it okay if I take the map?” Taeil asked and Taeyong was more than happy to oblige. 

“I’m uh- not much of an outdoors person,” he sheepishly admitted. 

Taeil simply laughed in response. “Not a good thing to be when you’re in the woods.” 

“Yeah, I suppose you have a point there.” 

“Have you ever been camping?” Taeil asked, making small talk. 

“No. No. Nothing like that ever. I think I went on a hike once when I was little. I was probably only like 6 or 7 though." 

“That’s a long time.” 

The conversation petered out until the only sound was the crunching of pine needles beneath their boots as the trudged onward. 

“So you’re the manager?” Taeyong asked. 

Taeil hummed. 

“Must be pretty hard. Trying to wrangle all those boys. They seem pretty energetic. Especially Lucas. Wow.” 

“He can be a handful,” the other admitted. 

They lapsed into an awkward silence again. In the passing minutes Taeyong thought. He allowed his brain to drift back to the mailbox and the letter and Myoryon. He combed through the hours since Jaehyun had first come to him and dug into the memories he shared with Johnny. It was so quite in the woods, the trees around him almost begging and coaxing the knowledge right from his brain. He had to know where Johnny was. There had to be a clue somewhere. There had to be-

“Why did he recognize you?” Taeyong suddenly recalled as he ducked under a low hanging branch, following Taeil. 

“Who?”

“Jaewoon…” he breathed out, more of a thought than for it to be heard by the other, and whether Taeil had heard it or not, Taeyong did not know for the other kept walking. 

“He recognized you,” Taeyong insisted, jogging slightly to catch up with the other boy. “Jaewoon called you by your name.” 

“I must have told him my name,” the boy waved him off. “Doyoung told him his name too. Or maybe Johnny did when he visited.” 

“No,” Taeyong whispered in realization, a cold shiver running down his spine. “He recognized you. Even if he did know your name, how would he know what you looked like?” 

Taeil stopped walking and eyes the other over his shoulder. “Taeyong, what are you saying?”

“I-“ Taeyong stammered, not exactly knowing where his thoughts were about to leave him. “I’m saying you came here with Johnny. I’m saying you were there,” he finally realized, just as surprised at his words as Taeil. 

“You better watch what you’re accusing me of,” Taeil warned the other in a voice that had Taeyong backing away. 

“The car… you were in the car with him…” Taeyong began to ramble as it all flooded in. “The passenger door was open. You were th-”


	15. Flashback: Monday Afternoon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> P.S. the song Taeyong is teaching Johnny is 'Angel' cause why the hell not

“Okay, what’s wrong?” Taeyong stops showing Johnny a succession of chords and places his arms bent over the top of the guitar. 

Johnny is sitting across him with a neutral expression. He blinks back at Taeyong and shrugs indignantly before looking down at the hands folded in his lap. 

“It’s nothing,” he mutters in response. 

Taeyong gives me an expression as if to say ‘you know I know better than that’ and they’re both aware of how the boy can read Johnny like an open book at this point. “Youngho, seriously. That’s like the fifth time you sighed in the last twenty minutes.” 

“So there’s a minor C sharp and then the minor G sharp comes after the F sharp. But the F sharp is a major chord?” 

“Youngho…”

“And another C sharp…’ 

“Youngho. Stop,” Taeyong insists, reaching his hand out to grab Johnny’s hands where his fingers are mimicking the chords in the air. 

Johnny looks up at him and it’s the first time Taeyong has seen the boy look so unguarded. 

“Will you please tell me what’s bothering you? Something is obviously wrong.” 

Johnny sighs and locks eyes with the boy sitting across from him. “I’m just –“ he stops and sighs again. 

Taeyong nods his head for the other to continue, not having let go of his hand and squeezing it lightly with a soft smile. 

“Why did my parents never tell me I was adopted?”

And wow Taeyong had been expecting that. He had assumed maybe Youngho had failed a test or was fighting with one of his friends. Maybe he thought the boy was sad about his cast. 

“Why did Myoryon have to find me? Why didn’t my parents just tell me?” 

“Maybe, they were waiting for the right time?” Taeyong suggests but it sounds like a weak excuse even as he says it and the look Johnny gives him confirms as much 

“I don’t like when people lie to me,” Johnny eventually says and he looks so utterly hurt. 

“I wont ever lie to you.”

“You promise me, Yongie?” 

Taeyong nods. 

“You’ll never lie? Not even if I ask you a hard question?” 

Taeyong laughs a little in response, a deep affection pouring into his words. “No, I promise. That’s what a promise means, right?” 

“Not even if I asked you if you liked me?” Johnny asks and Taeyong pauses. 

Of course he likes Youngho. Youngho is… he’s bright and wonderful and charismatic and smart and sweet and… well, he’s perfect. His hair is perfect and his smile is perfect and even his goddamn eyes are perfect. ‘It would be impossible,’ Taeyong thinks, ‘to not fall in love with someone like that.’ And the words he thinks have him halting his train of thought. It skids and breaks harshly before abruptly stopping in a screeching metal groan. 

“No.”

“No, you won’t lie?” Johnny inclines his head in confusion. 

“No. I don’t like you,” taeyong simply says. 

Johnny moves to pull his hand away, a air of betrayal passing over his features and his shoulders tensing. 

“I’m sorry. I- I must have read this wrong. I didn’t-”

“I love you,” Taeyong responds quietly and Johnny almost doesn’t catch it amidst his anxious blabbering. 

“You what?”

“I said I love you,” Taeyong smiles. 

His heart is beating like crazy and his stomach is in knots. He can’t believe what he just said but there is no way in hell, he would ever take it back. He gulps as Johnny remains silent for the second which follow in the wake of his words. It feel like an eternity and then it’s over. Johnny’s hand is cradling Taeyong’s cheek and neither of them know how it got there. And suddenly, they’re kissing. It’s so soft and warm and just so irrevocably beautiful. Taeyong supposes in that moment he should add one more thing to list of what makes Youngho perfect. 

“I love you too,” Johnny whispers back with a earth-shattering smile that lights up his eyes. 

They’re so engrossed in each other, eyes gazing into each other’s and mouth moving back together again, that they don’t notice the figure in the door’s window slowly walking away, retreating into the hallway.


	16. A Friend of a Friend (Who's More Than a Friend)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah its gonna be 18 chapters now.... sorry :(
> 
> Also, when I checked this morning, the story had 666 views and I laughed. (thought you should know)

“Shut up!” Taeil yelled and the world around them fell into a swirling sea of turmoil and uncertainty. 

Taeyong stared wide eyed at the wild looking Taeil in front of him and he did indeed shut up. His brain shut down and every word he could possibly ever use to even begin to attempt to understand the situation flees from his mind. He can’t really think of anything else to do but stare, dumbfounded, at the other boy. He’s confused. He’s tired. He’s worried. 

And so Taeyong did the only thing that came to his mind and yes, it’s impulsive and he has no idea where he’s going or have a map, because as luck would have it, Taeil’s holding the damned thing. 

He started running. 

Branches whacked him in the face as he propelled himself through the forest. Taeil called out after him and distantly Taeyong can hear the other boy is also running. No, not running, he realizes, Taeil was chasing him. 

Taeyong distanced himself, shallow harsh pants of his own breath filled his ears as he ran fast and hard, feet pummeling the earth beneath his feet. He rocketing into the unknown tree line. And then, all a sudden, he fell. The each rolled out from under him and, for a single moment, he was suspended: no ground under him, the sky tipping over onto its side, and his head swimming with a dizzy slant. 

He slammed into something hard and the wind got knocked out of his lungs. It took a second for his gaze to clear and he found himself looking up, at the bottom of a large drop off, at Taeil’s head peeking over. It’s a giant hole. Taeyong was inside a giant hole in the middle of the forest. Once the shock wore off, he gasped and grabbed his left ankle. The thing was pulsating with a stinging pain and largely immobile. 

“Taeil!” he called out to the other. “Taeil help!” 

“I never meant to hurt him,” Taeil said in response, as he gazed down at the writhing boy. “I was just angry and I didn’t know what to do. I just wanted to get out of the car. And then he stopped breathing and I couldn’t-” 

Taeyong is holding his leg, barely hearing the words as Taeil rambles, his back flush with the pine needles and dear leaves lining the base of the put. 

“I liked him,” Taeil continued. “I was the one that liked him! And Johnny knew that! He knew! And he kissed you anyways.” 

Taeyong stirs at that, finally opening his scrunched eyes to look at Taeil. 

“I was in love with him!” Taeil screamed and Taeyong gaped at the man. “But he was in love with you!” 

“Taeil what are you saying?”

“I saw you! I saw you two and I realized that he would never like me! Not with you were around!” 

“Taeil, calm down,” Taeyong pleaded. 

“Calm down?! Calm down?” the boy laughed. “Don’t tell me to calm down, ‘Yongie’,” he bit out, mockingly seething the nickname out of his lips. 

“Taeil why would you do that? Why would you do that to him?” 

“You don’t remember me do you?” 

And Taeyong wracks is brain, and maybe it’s just the utter shock at being held at gunpoint by someone who has been helping him tracking Johnny for the past week only to reveal that he’s the one who caused his disappearance, but he can’t exactly think straight right now. 

“No…?”

“Ha!” Taeil barks out another haunting laugh. “Of course, you don’t. No one does! I was a shy awkward kid and then Johnny came into my life and he brought the freaking sun with him! Of course, I feel in love. I’ve been in love with that idiot for the past four years!” 

“But-”

“And then I realized I was nothing without him. He started talking about you and I – I snapped and told him I liked him. He said he didn’t love me back. That he couldn’t! because of you!” 

“Why did you have to hurt him? He’s gone Taeil! He’s gone!” 

“He broke my heart!” 

“Taeil please! I love him too. I promise I wont tell anyone!” Taeyong started to plead. “I promise, I promise. Just please help me. Don’t leave me here!” 

“I still love him. I didn’t mean to do it. I didn’t mean to. But I can’t go to jail, Taeyong,” he sobbed. 

Taeil carefully started backing away from the hole with a frightening look in his eyes. “No one knows. No one knows I killed him except you. I didn't mean to but they wont know that. I really don’t want to go to jail. I’m sorry. This - this is the only way, Taeyong.” 

“Taeil!” Taeyong screamed once the other passed out of his eyesight, his throat running raw and fatigued. “Taeil!” 

But the boy was gone.


	17. Where in the World

Taeyong stared panicking, hyperventilating. He was in a hole in the middle of the woods without a map or any tools really. He was stuck and no one knew where he was except for one person who left him there to die. The others were off searching in their designated areas and would have no reason to wander into Taeil and Taeyong’s section. No one would come for him. No one would find him. What would Taeil say? What would the boy tell them happened to Taeyong? Taeil could lead them away from where the boy actually was and then, well, he could tell the others just about anything about what had happened. 

It was only him. It was all up to him if he didn’t want to die. Taeyong heaved his body up into a sitting position, wincing as he ribs ached at the movement. His ankle was still swollen and searing with pain. Okay, crawling, He could still crawl. He shoved his body down onto his stomach and began slowly, ever so slowly, to inch towards the other side of the hole where a large log sat splintered, an array of dead leaves blanketed over it and piling behind it up the side of the pit. 

Taeyong felt his phone on his pocket and yelped as it cut into his bruised stomach. He quickly fumbled and yanked it out in excitement and relief. His hands trembled as he attempted to turn it on only to realize it was smashes beyond belief. That fall must have completely destroyed it. With an angry groan, Taeyong flung it out in front of him. It crossed the space and fell into the leaf pile next to the log. 

Thump. 

The sound surprised him. The annoyed rage dissipated and instead became replaced by a curiosity. It hadn’t sounded like the phone hit a log, or a leaf, or even the ground. It wasn’t at all what he expected. He began dragging his body along the earth towards the log. The discomfort in his ribs had his brain swimming in agony. It took longer than he anticipated, to crawl in anguish to the other side of the hole, as he could only use one of his feet to help push. 

He dug through the leaves where he had seen his phone enter the pile and oh, oh god. There was a body. 

He frantically tore the leaves away, his fingernails scraping against them and collecting dirt. It became harder to breathe as he exerted more and more energy, haphazardly tearing through the pile and feeling the soft fabric of a torso beneath. He pushed the leaves out of the way as he made contact with what he assumed was a nose. 

“Youngho,” Taeyong sobbed as he dusted the leaves and dirt away from the face. “Youngho, oh my god!” 

“Youngho, Youngho, Youngho” Taeyong kept mumbling like a crazed man, hands all over the unconscious boy’s face. “Johnny, wake up. Johnny! I know you’re not dead. I know you’re not! Just WAKE UP, JOHNNY” he screamed desperately. 

He heaved the boy’s body out of the leaves, collapsing with Johnny’s body tucked into his lap. Taeyong pulled their foreheads together and just cried. 

“Johnny wake up,” he pleased, rocking back and worth. “Please, please wake up.” 

The other boy’s eyelids flittered open and Taeyong cried harder, tugging the body impossibly closer to his chest unable to say anything in the midst of his blabbering weeping. 

“You found me,” Johnny murmured. 

“Johnny oh my god, I thought I lost you,” Taeyong sobbed, cradling the boy’s head to his chest, arms wrapping tightly around his lying figure. 

“You called me Johnny,” the boy smiled sleepily up at Taeyong and the boy cried harder, his chest wracking with full bodied sobs. 

“Shhh, it’s okay,” Johnny coxed, reaching up a hand to hold Taeyong’s face in his palm. “It’s okay. I’m alright. You found me.” 

“Johnny, Youngho, I – I thought you were dead,” taeyong stammered. “I – I thought you died. I thought Taeil had -” 

“Taeil,” Johnny muttered, his gaze un-focusing as he felt the weight of the name on his tongue. “Taeil was with me. Where is he? Is he okay? He wasn’t in the car when I woke up. I went looking for him but I couldn't find anything. It was so dark, Yongie. And then I - well, you found me. Where is Taeil?” 

“Johnny,” taeyong softly said, drawing the boys attention. “Taeil left us.” 

“What? What are you talking about?” 

“Taeil thought you died in the car crash and he left you,” the boy explained. “He said you weren’t breathing and so he left you.” 

“How are you here then? He came back for me, right? Did he go get help? The woods are so thick, how did you-”

"Johnny!” Taeyong yelled, stopping the other boy’s rambling. 

They stared at each for a moment. 

“Taeil didn’t come back for you,” he eventually said. 

The woods sat quiet around them, birds calling faintly and ever faint whistle of the winds funneling through the forest. 

“Taeil didn’t tell us, Johnny. He never said anything. We’re here because we searched for you. It’s been days, Johnny, days.”

Johnny said nothing, staring at him in confusion and betrayal and hurt. 

“And then he left me here, too.” 

“No,” Johnny shook his head. “No, no he wouldn’t do that. Not Taeil, he would never do that. He would never…” 

Taeyong grabbed Johnny’s face, staring him straight in the face. “He left us here to die, Johnny.”


	18. Bear It with Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jokes, y'all thought it was 18 chapters but if i have one fatal flaw it's being verbose so strap in suckers

Taeyong’s tears had dried by the time he finally explained to Johnny how he had come to find him. At the mention of his mother’s name Johnny’s face had lit up with the most beautifully innocent glow and Taeyong had told the other how welcoming she had been to all of them. It was a jarringly quiet peace they found in that moment, the world have shattered down around them and left the pieces scattered at the bottom of the hole around their bodies. It was calm too. And Taeyong realized he always felt that way with Younho, that perhaps, for the first time in his life, he had found someone that made feel him that way. And maybe that was why he was so scared of losing him. 

Taeyong very thoroughly inspected the other’s body, finding bruises and a small hairline cut. Once they had gained their footing on top of the log, despite the flimsy surface which threatened to decay and collapse right beneath their feet, Johnny turned to Taeyong before he went to hoist the boy up. It was surreal, almost, to see Johnny standing right before him, a living breathing mass of person. It hadn’t been a week since his disappearance and yet still it felt a lifetime. 

“Hey, can you hold something for me really quick?” 

“Oh, are you okay?” Taeyong looked over. “Are you going to slip?” 

Johnny smiled and simply placed his hand in Taeyong’s, squeezing it lightly. The latter’s head whipped down to their entwined hands so fast he almost got whiplash. He rose his gaze to Johnny's once again and saw a frighteningly mischievous smile gracing the other's face. 

“What are you-” Taeyong pulled his hand away and slapped Youngho on the arm in chastisement. “Johnny we’re in a freaking hole!”

Johnny began to pout and Taeyong’s eyes widened in a confused horror. “You been passed out in a ditch for days. We need to get you to a hospital, you idiot.”

“I wanted to hold your hand,” Johnny replied very seriously. 

“You can hold my hand when you’re in the hospital.”

“You promise?”

“Oh my god, yes. Do you even understand what’s going on right now? You literally could have died Johnny!” 

Johnny’s smile widened at that. “You called me Johnny again.” 

“Youngho!” Taeyong yelled and Johnny’s smiled dropped in a comedically childish pout again. “We need to get to the others before it gets dark. I really need you to pay attention right now.” 

Johnny leaned over and kissed Taeyong lightly on the lips. Before the boy had time to react, Johnny was grabbing him by the waist and holding him up to the lip of the hole. Taeyong yelped as he was suspended in the air. 

“I'm really staring to think you have a concussion,” he grumbled, hands grasping for purchase on the forest floor above him. 

And amazing, they had both made it out of the hole, although they both now lay on the earth heaving pants leaving their chests and Johnny’s vision swimming. They laid there a moment in the still woods, breathes mingling with the cold air. The injured boy rolled onto his side and hurled onto the ground. ‘Yup,’ Taeyong thought. ‘Definitely a concussion.’ 

“Can you stand?” Taeyong asked rubbing Johnny's back as he collapsed over in his sickened state. 

The boy nodded and got onto his feet, immediately swaying on his legs. Taeyong walked over and placed the taller boy’s arm across his shoulders. Johnny’s weight immediately feel onto his back and he stumbled, a searing pain running up his leg and his ankle buckling. They both feel to the ground, a groan resounding from Taeyong as Johnny landed on top of him. He rolled the boy off of him with a grunt, before turning his head to the side to see Johnny’s eyes remained closed. Oh god, Johnny. 

Taeyong stood once again on a feeble ankle, gritting his teeth through the pain and found a fairly sturdy branch nearby which he used to help support his body. He walked over to Johnny and knelt by his side, grabbing the boy under the armpits and maneuvering the tall body upright. He struggled, teetering back and forth for a moment before gaining his footing. With Johnny unconscious across his back, the boy's feet dragging behind, and a thick wooden stick, Taeyong hobbled deeper into the woods not knowing which way to go or who he would find, if anyone at all.


	19. Leave All of It Behind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, if you're ever actually lost DO NOT follow what sounds like water because like 90% of the time it is just wind and you get more lost. Trust me i'm a NOLS girl #helpfulwildernesstips

The burning ache which sat in each step of his foot forward and the needles which pricked the entire surface of his ankle, heightened as Taeyong continued through the dense trees. He felt it in his bones, creeping up until it consumed the lower half of his left leg in a fiery agony, but he continued. Taeyong walked through it. He clenches his jaw as tears stung his eyes, and stumbling one foot after the other with the weight of a barely conscious Johnny hung across him. Propelled by nothing more than an iron clad will to get the other to safety, Taeyong wandered, injured and lost, passed tree after tree after tree. As the sun began to fade into a soft afternoon glow, and as the air grew thick with an icy breeze, he walked. 

Johnny became somewhat more lucid after what Taeyong assumed was 2 hours of directionless traveling. The boy perked up and insisted Taeyong put him on the ground, and, to the best of his ability, stumbling alongside him, arm again draped over the shorter boy’s shoulders. 

“Is that a river?” Youngho asked, turning his head to the right into the dense thicket of forest around them. 

“Is that not just the wind in the trees?" 

“No. No, I’m pretty sure that’s running water,” Johnny answered. “They say not to follow it for that exact reason but I figured, we’re already lost, aren’t we?”

“Good point,” Taeyong hummed back. 

The weaved through the woods and towards the noise, reservedly hopeful for what they might find at the end of their detour. It was better than nothing and well, there were exactly zero other options for them in their current state: incapacitated, lost, and without a single useful resource, although Johnny did miraculous have the small glass breaker tool which had allowed his escape from the wreck. 

“Look!” Johnny excitedly yelled, pointing in front of them through the wall of leaves. 

There was a small creek running through the woods, splashing lightly as it traversed over pebbles and small rocks sitting up out of the water. It rushed by them slowly, gurgling as it made impact with the little rocks, and swirling with small whirlpools downstream of them. 

“Now, we follow it.” 

“Which way?”

“It was passing into the drainage tunnel under the bridge at the base of the bottom. We follow it downstream and we find the bridge.” 

“Oh my god, you’re a genius!” Taeyong said, jumping into the other’s arm to hug him in excitement. 

“Woah there, Yongie,” Youngho huffed out, barely remaining upright as he clumsily caught the gleeful boy. 

“Ah, sorry, sorry.” 

“We still need to get there in one piece,” Johnny laughed. 

The path along the river was relatively flat. Moss sat nestled along the sides in a stripe of soft green which cushioned their feet. Taeyong was immensely grateful until he started to walk and realized the giving material did nothing to support him, and he immediately rolled over it again and tumbled into the shallow water. It was freezing as he landed, Johnny’s outstretched hand having failed to catch him. Taeyong looked up at the other’s worried expression and open palm resting in the air before bursting into hysterical laughter. 

“Yongie, are you okay? What happened? Are you hurt?”

“It’s like the first time we meet.” 

Johnny wrinkled his brow as he tried to remember. “Oh yeah,” he eventually smiled. “It is.”

“Although this time you look a bit more nervous…”

“Oh do I?” he asked. “Well, I was trembling on the inside last time but I suppose I do a good job of hiding it,” he chuckled, pulling Taeyong out of the running brook. 

“You were nervous?”

“Meeting you? The most beautiful, gentle person I’ve ever met in my life? How could I not be?” he grinned, still holding the hand with which he had hauled Taeyong up to the moss. “We still need to make it there so be careful, okay?” 

Taeyong gripped Johnny’s hand tighter and nodded silently. Then, they set out to find a way home. It was slow going, undeniably, as they ventured alongside the river. But knowing they were headed in the right direction made it all the more easy to endure the wait. 

“What do we do?”

“We’ll worry about it when we get there?”

“But what will happen?” Taeyong asked again. “When we find them. When we find Taeil. What are we going to do? What is he going to do?”

Johnny sighed. “I don’t know. I really don’t know. But I know he didn’t mean to leave me. If he had known I was alive he never would have-” 

“He left me.” 

Johnny quieted down at that. “Yeah… yeah he did. Things are going to be... well, they're going to change." 

“Johnny, I’m scared,” Taeyong confessed. 

“It’s okay, I’m here. I’ve got you,” he whispered back, cradling Taeyong’s hand. 

And they kept walking.


	20. Almost Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY. I promise this is the last time I change how long the story is going to be, but hey now its OT21 so that's fun I guess

The moment the bridge came into site, and they saw two cars parked on the side of the road by the hiking trails, Taeyong began to cry. No, he was not a big crier, but yes he had in the last couple of days failed to evidence that I light of what was going on. He was ugly crying, snot pouring from his nose and nose red, but Johnny turned to him with the biggest smile and kissed his forehead like he was the most precious thing in the whole universe and Taeyong was sure he had never be happier. The sun laid above the mountain and was hazed in a late afternoon amber. Taeyong’s walking stick had snapped part way through their journey and now he was almost completely held up by a very unsteady Johnny. 

They walked faster towards the vehicles, only half-way there realizing there were five boys leaned against the side of one, chatting. Johnny let his arm fall from Taeyong’s waist once he realized who it was and turning with eyes to him. Taeyong nodded with a soft smile and Johnny was sprinted across the grass. 

“Mark!” he yelled and one of the boys turned around with a confused face, mouth dropping open and eyes crinkling, before rocketing off towards Johnny. 

They met in the middle with a thud, arms wrapping around each other and Mark’s loud sobs echoing off Johnny’s chest as he clung desperately to his brother. 

“Taeyong!?” WinWin shouted out and ran towards the elder where he stood on one leg at the edge of the tree line. “What happened!?” he asked once he had made it to the other, frowning at his swollen ankle and damp clothes.

Haechan and Yuta were standing beside the tangled mass that was Mark and Johnny, both wrapped around each other and crying. Yuta looked as if he was attempting to remain strong despite wet eyes and a quivering lip and Haechan was full on weeping, possibly even louder than Mark, and hanging off Yuta’s off. 

“Taeyong, where’s Taeil?” WinWin asked, checking over the boy for more injuries. 

“He didn’t come back yet?” 

“No, why would he come back without you?” 

Taeyong searched the small boy’s eyes. “He never came back?”

WinWin shook his head no. 

“And he never said anything? He didn’t call you?” 

“No, where is he? Is he still in the woods? Did you guys get separated?” 

Taeyong opened his eyes to respond but a light hand on his shoulder had him halting. He looked over to see Haechan’s tear streaked face. 

“Thank you. Thank you so much.” 

Taeyong reached his hand out and drew the younger boy into a hug. 

“How’d you find Johnny?” 

Taeyong bit his lip and looked to Johnny for help, feeling more lost than he had hours ago, cluelessly stumbling through the trees. He saw Johnny now hugging Yuta who had forgone any pride and was crying quietly into his chest like a baby. 

“He just stumbled across me…” Johnny answered for him when the two made eyes contact. “He got separated from Taeil and luckily he happened to find me.” 

“Oh my god is Taeil lost now?!” WinWin frantically asked. “What do we do? What are the odds of finding two lost people in the same day?” 

Mark walked over to calm him but WinWin was spiraling out of control. “Why does this keep happening? Someone’s going to die!” 

“WinWinnie!” someone yelled and they turned to see Yuta now extracted from Johnny’s grip and wearing a brave expression again. “No one is going to die.”

“But-”

“We are not letting anyone die.” 

“Taeyong, how did you lose Taeil-hyung?” Haechan asked with a desperately despondent look. “He’s so careful and I know he wouldn’t have wandered off. I’m really worried about him.” 

“I- I – I heard a noise and I just taken off toward it.” 

“You left him in the woods all alone?” Haechan asked taken aback. 

“No! No, I-”

“He heard me call for help,” Johnny interjected. “He heard me and came running.” 

“He left Taeil-hyung alone.” 

"Taeyong found Johnny,” Mark added. “He did the right thing.”

“Okay,” Haechan acquiesced. “Yeah, okay. I know, you're right."

"Awwn, my brother's such a good boyfriend," Johnny teased. 

Mark immediately starting blushing and stumbling over his words, glaring at Johnny and whining about it 'not being the right time' which caused Johnny to start laughing with a carefree rumble. 

"What do we do now?" Haechan asked, completely ignoring the stuttering Mark beside him. "The others aren’t even back yet.” 

“Oh god we have to call them,” Yuta realized, turning on his heel and jogging back to his car. 

“Didn’t Taeil have the map on him?” Mark asked suddenly. “How did he get lost if he had the map?” 

WinWin nodded. “He did have the map. Did he give it to you?” he asked Taeyong. 

“No. No, he had it the whole time.” 

“Then I guess we should try calling him and wait here until he gets back?” Mark suggested and the others agreed, joining Yuta who lamented that there was no phone service and none of his calls were going through. 

They agreed Yuta should drive Johnny and Taeyong to the hospital and that the other three would wait by Jaehyun’s truck for them to return. Taeyong and Johnny piled into the car, remaining silent about Taeil all the while and watching as the forest faded into the distance as Yuta drove away.


	21. Life Goes On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I didn’t want to do this because I couldn’t make them all mad at Taeil cause somehow that feels worse. :(
> 
> Also, shoutout to darkestnight22 for commenting on pretty much every chapter and giving me motivation to finish this. Thank you, you sweet soul. :)

“Yongie,” a voice whispered in his ear. 

The bright, white light that filled his eyes when they flickered open was harsh enough to have him squinting them closed again. It hurt his head, glaring through his shut eyelids. His whole body was numb and slightly cold; he cuddled deeper into the warmth around him. 

“Yongie,” the voice said again and Taeyong shuffled around. 

A faint rustle of bedsheets filled his ears he shifted his head to the sound of the voice and opened his eyes. He was in a bed, a hospital bed. The room was so white and clean, glaringly empty around him. Taeyong saw Johnny sitting before him, dressed in a hospital gown with a large white bandage on his forehead. 

“You’re awake,” he smiled and Taeyong remained still, a dull ache pouring into his ankle as he awakened. 

He pulled the blanket covering his legs away and saw his foot in a soft cast, littering with signatures and doodles. 

“I told everybody they could sign it. I hope that’s alright?” 

“What time is it?” he asked, surprised at the raspy weary tone which emitted from his throat. 

“It’s…” Johnny leaned back to glance at the clock on Taeyong’s side table. “… like 3 am.”

"What are you doing in here?" he asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"I couldn't sleep." 

“Did they find Taeil?”

Johnny sighed and looked down at the floor without answering, the hand he had previously had braced against the bed at Taeyong’s side, dropping into his lap. 

“Johnny, where’s Taeil?” Taeyong asked, sitting up on his elbows. 

“They waited. They waiting until the sun set and he never came back. No one had seen him….” Taeyong stayed quiet, listening intently as Johnny spoke. “Jaehyun called the police. They sent out a squadron with dogs.” 

“Did they find him? Johnny, did they find Taeil?”

“They did,” he whispered and then went quiet. 

Taeyong waited for the boy to continue for him to notice that there were silent tears falling from the other’s face, spilling down over his cheeks and landing noiselessly on the clasped hands which sat in his lap, so tightly joined Taeyong saw the muscles in Johnny’s wrist straining. 

“They found him. They found his body.” 

“Oh my god, he…” 

“He fell down a ravine, Yongie. Right near the head of the trail. They said he must have been running without looking and that his foot slipped and he… he just fell straight down the hill and his head was smashed in. And…” 

“I’m so sorry,” Taeyong breathed reaching out for the other. “I’m so sorry. That’s awful. I can’t even believe that happened.” 

“He died. He’s dead.” 

“I can’t imagine how sad you must be feeling right now. And the others. God, that’s – that’s just heartbreaking.” 

“We can’t tell them.” 

“Tell them what?”

Johnny looked up at him, and it broke Taeyong’s heart to see the utter dejection coating his features. 

“For Taeil. We can’t tell them what he did. They- I don’t know if they’d miss him as much if they knew what he did. I don’t…” Johnny paused, swallowing a thick lump which had caught in his throat. “I don’t want that for him.” 

“I won’t say thing,” Taeyong answered him sincerely. “I promise.” 

“Thank you,” Johnny whispered back. “Thank you.” 

It made the sense of homecoming much sadder than any of them could have ever dreamed. They had left expecting to have lost one boy, and returned having lost another. It was harder in a way, none of them having been able to prepare themselves for it. And it hurt, even to Johnny and Taeyong it hurt despite all that had happened. The official story was that Taeil had gotten lost and wandered back to the cars when he couldn’t find Taeyong, who had run off at hearing Johnny’s voice. No one who had been searching faulted him for it but Taeyong knew, he knew they would always feel a dull sentiment of disappointment. 

“Tell me something happy,” Taeyong said as they both still lay awake hours after the news of Taeil had been told. Johnny had joined him on the side of the bed and they laid, arm to arm in the quiet stillness of the early morning darkness. 

Apparently Haechan, upon hearing the news, had broken down hysterically, having been closer to Taeil than anyone else. He had immediately flung himself onto Mark in the middle of the police station at 2 am and confessed. 

“He told him ‘I can’t bear to loose someone else that I love and I’m in love with you’ right in front of everyone and as sad as it was it was also kind of adorable,” Johnny smiled affectionately.

“I’m happy for him,” Taeyong said, staring at the ceiling in the dark. “I think we need a little happy right now.” 

“Despite everything that’s happened, and as guilty as I feel saying it, I’m happy too,” Johnny muttered. 

Taeyong turned to face him, studying the gentle curve of his profile lit by the faint waking light which filtered through the window. Johnny tuned to face him too. 

“I’m happy because I have you.” 

"Johnny, I-"

"And I don't know what life will be like when we get home. When I see my parents or we meet our friends. But here, in this moment with you, I'm happy. And I think that's enough. As long as you're by my side, I think I'll be alright." 

So Taeyong kissed him, and in the small refuge they had created between their breathes, in the hospital bed outside of town, they made their own happiness.


End file.
